I think I've been a highly functional depressed person for many years.

I hid it from my kiddo. The grief and fear. I kept pushing and believing and trying. I just knew it had to get better because I cared so much and tried so hard.

Now I think I'm crashing. I don't care about anything except my son. I sleep a lot. I stopped talking to people. I don't eat. Showering less. I'm not doing the things I need to do and I'm so tired of caring.

I've always been my only support and thought I was so strong. I don't want to be strong anymore. I'm so tired.

To those of you that don't want to look at me, please just block me. I really don't give a shit about losing people. I've sucked it up so many times I don't believe being strong matters for anything.

I'm no quitter. I'll never give up. But I can't move. I'm so so tired.

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SageWanderer · 70-79, M

Your body is telling you what your mind needs. Yes, sleep is an escape from trying so hard to be strong. This will go in ebbs and flows, you’ll gain strength back plus despite how you feel you still try.

MarbleMarvel

@SageWanderer I wish I could of created the stability and consistency I worked so hard for... I just can't do it. I tried so hard.

SageWanderer · 70-79, M

@MarbleMarvel The only thing you need to be sure of is that your son is in a nurturing environment. I have admired you for that fact that his needs come first. You will succeed, despite the obstacles.

MarbleMarvel

@SageWanderer thank you sweetheart. When I think of him I know there's no alternative to pushing on. I only wish I could be more. He truly deserves it.