Am I mentally ill?
You guys know some sort of condition that makes people uninterested in almost anything about the reality ? Because I genuinely want to know whats wrong with me. I know the right thing is to get a therapist or smt but I CANT right now .
So about my problem ,It was more apparent im these last years but I feel like I always kinda had it. So , lets begin, even as a child I didnt had that curiosity/interest for things like, knowing personal stuff about my family/friends or ppl I know in general , knowing places of my city , noticing details on peoples faces , etc (and to makes things worse, I am from a small town so its natural that everyone knows almost everyplace/every family that lives here but genuinely , I only know very few). The only thing that interested me was swallow things like playing and watching cartoon and drawing, my special interest .But still , as a child I was still more lucid. I think it got worse when I had acess to internet and spent too much time online , I was already kinda indifferent to people but I became even more apathetic . Nowadays, I struggle with basic things like simple tasks ( because I didnt paid attention on how other people do it) , I struggle with social rules (Like ,sometimes idk how to act normal or dont know if it would be my time to speak ), I also dont notice things like my parents routine like , if you ask me where my mother went or what vehicle she used I wouldnt know. I also dont care about how ppl perceive me sometimes, like yes im polite and well behaved, but sometimes idk how to take care of my appearence or how to talk normaly , wich is bad because people may see me as an invalid ( and tbh I feel like I am sometimes) and they wouldnt take me seriously. I have trouble remembering faces and its details, names, and have trouble describing to someone how to get to a place I KNOW . As a teen I was very uninterested in my future , only now im seeing I should have been more attentious with my life and the world around me , im terrified that I will keep living like this . I am trying to change but is hard to focus. If someone read this and knows what my problem might be please tell me
So about my problem ,It was more apparent im these last years but I feel like I always kinda had it. So , lets begin, even as a child I didnt had that curiosity/interest for things like, knowing personal stuff about my family/friends or ppl I know in general , knowing places of my city , noticing details on peoples faces , etc (and to makes things worse, I am from a small town so its natural that everyone knows almost everyplace/every family that lives here but genuinely , I only know very few). The only thing that interested me was swallow things like playing and watching cartoon and drawing, my special interest .But still , as a child I was still more lucid. I think it got worse when I had acess to internet and spent too much time online , I was already kinda indifferent to people but I became even more apathetic . Nowadays, I struggle with basic things like simple tasks ( because I didnt paid attention on how other people do it) , I struggle with social rules (Like ,sometimes idk how to act normal or dont know if it would be my time to speak ), I also dont notice things like my parents routine like , if you ask me where my mother went or what vehicle she used I wouldnt know. I also dont care about how ppl perceive me sometimes, like yes im polite and well behaved, but sometimes idk how to take care of my appearence or how to talk normaly , wich is bad because people may see me as an invalid ( and tbh I feel like I am sometimes) and they wouldnt take me seriously. I have trouble remembering faces and its details, names, and have trouble describing to someone how to get to a place I KNOW . As a teen I was very uninterested in my future , only now im seeing I should have been more attentious with my life and the world around me , im terrified that I will keep living like this . I am trying to change but is hard to focus. If someone read this and knows what my problem might be please tell me
I hope you are doing well