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Miram · 31-35, F
Personality disorders can be managed with the right treatement, prespective and willingness to change.
Not that they present as the same for every person. I think we should seperate between mental illness and actions taken by people, because even when actions are related to their mental illnesses, they still imply a level of a choice.
In my own life, and as a professional, I have met cases ranging from :
-non violent-------extremely destructive.
They can be anywhere on the spectrum.
Statistically speaking , NPD would not be as prevalent as it seem online. It became a trend for people to assign it to their ex because it would give a better relatable frame and sense of severity. Their conclusions are usually deductive. Same for other disorders. People who go online to vent , while labeling their ex any of that, aren't necessarily right, even if their trauma is true.
I was both raised by an aspd, and he was incredibly messes up person. Diagnosed and convicted. At courts, in most countries, you undergo two psychological evaluations to determine whether your mental illness affected your actions at the time of the crime, rather than if you have a mental illness. This is because it is agreeable the two are separate issues. He was convicted because he acted of his own accord.
The person I dated who has aspd never ever harmed me or abused me. He was good to me.
Not that they present as the same for every person. I think we should seperate between mental illness and actions taken by people, because even when actions are related to their mental illnesses, they still imply a level of a choice.
In my own life, and as a professional, I have met cases ranging from :
-non violent-------extremely destructive.
They can be anywhere on the spectrum.
Statistically speaking , NPD would not be as prevalent as it seem online. It became a trend for people to assign it to their ex because it would give a better relatable frame and sense of severity. Their conclusions are usually deductive. Same for other disorders. People who go online to vent , while labeling their ex any of that, aren't necessarily right, even if their trauma is true.
I was both raised by an aspd, and he was incredibly messes up person. Diagnosed and convicted. At courts, in most countries, you undergo two psychological evaluations to determine whether your mental illness affected your actions at the time of the crime, rather than if you have a mental illness. This is because it is agreeable the two are separate issues. He was convicted because he acted of his own accord.
The person I dated who has aspd never ever harmed me or abused me. He was good to me.
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Therealsteve · 31-35, M
@Miram Thank you. She told me she had BPD when we met online. And also that she thought some other guy from another country was the love of her life but was over him and had me now. Within a month of talking she got the plane to me in the UK from Slovakia. Month later she paid for me to come over and rented us a cottage and took us on trips for 5 days. Next month my abusive dad kicked me out, she got me the plane to come live with her. Within 24 hours she drops on me that she loves this guy and not me and put me through the most.. indescribable experience. I didnt know about the cycle, the breadcrumbing, splits etc.
I was made to feel like a slob whilst I cleaned her whole floor every day (she sat on her ass playing a videogame 5 hours a night) paid half of the mortgage having met her only twice. She'd tell me how the thing that most made her not love me was my "bad memory", which I assume now was to imbed the gaslighting.
I was made to feel like a slob whilst I cleaned her whole floor every day (she sat on her ass playing a videogame 5 hours a night) paid half of the mortgage having met her only twice. She'd tell me how the thing that most made her not love me was my "bad memory", which I assume now was to imbed the gaslighting.
Miram · 31-35, F
@Therealsteve
There is a type of people who always have reasons for their cruelty , never create or consider how those in their lives might also have reasons for forgetting, erring...and they hold your mistakes against you as a weapon and crush your will to fight back for yourself, under the pressure of knowing you have failed them.
Love isn't an on/off switch. Falling out of love doesn't happen so fast. She took advantage of you while you were vulnerable. It had nothing to do with expectations you have not met. You can't win love, it is not how it works. You either have their love, or not. It is not a transaction.
She sounds very evil. I am sorry you have dealt with that.
There is a type of people who always have reasons for their cruelty , never create or consider how those in their lives might also have reasons for forgetting, erring...and they hold your mistakes against you as a weapon and crush your will to fight back for yourself, under the pressure of knowing you have failed them.
Love isn't an on/off switch. Falling out of love doesn't happen so fast. She took advantage of you while you were vulnerable. It had nothing to do with expectations you have not met. You can't win love, it is not how it works. You either have their love, or not. It is not a transaction.
She sounds very evil. I am sorry you have dealt with that.
Therealsteve · 31-35, M
@Miram There is so much more I could say about what she did, but I'd be here all day xD Thank you for the reminder in the second paragraph. It was all bizarre, i think she quite literally wanted to mistreat me to the point that I would leave, but in a mind f way that makes me feel it was actually my fault, but then she'd do the pulling. Yet she spent hundreds just for some mentally ill game on her part. And ahhh xD I'm getting mind f'd just thinking about it and I'll be typing tons of disjointed recollections. All done =] All i can do is work on myself.
Getting away from these people is always easier said than done, though.
Therealsteve · 31-35, M
@HootyTheNightOwl Unfortunately some of these creatures trap you into a marriage before splitting, that can happen.
@Therealsteve Sometimes, the abuse is occurring even before things get to that stage, though.
Or maybe your choice, so to speak, is either a narcissist or a rapist.
Or maybe your choice, so to speak, is either a narcissist or a rapist.
Therealsteve · 31-35, M
@HootyTheNightOwl Then these are people who need help. There needs to be a charity that can give support to people to escape their BPD friend/partner/spouse. Which also educates people on the abuse they can expect to endure if they so choose to have anything to do with one of these cluster people.
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What if they are a direct relative like? 😅
Therealsteve · 31-35, M
@SStarfish Unfortunately, in many such cases, the rest of the family no contact them D:
caccoon · 36-40
This is a really awful thing to say.
I think you need to consider whether those people are getting help and actively working on themselves or not.
I think you need to consider whether those people are getting help and actively working on themselves or not.
caccoon · 36-40
@Therealsteve okay 👍
Therealsteve · 31-35, M
@caccoon Are you BPD?
caccoon · 36-40
@Therealsteve yep.