I don't feel like a human being

All the kids my age are different from me. Even if they have depression or mental illnesses, they're not like me at all. They HAVE a reason to feel like that. Maybe they hate themselves. Maybe they experienced trauma. Whatever it is, there is a reason for them to feel that way. And they know it will pass, so they're trying their best to hold on and continue living.

I, on the other hand do not. Strange enough, I neither have depression nor am I suicidal. It's quite weird actually. I don't care about anything in my life, don't want any kind of future for myself on this earth, couldn't care less about studying if I'm being honest. I know I said "I want to change" in a previous post but that was only because I wanted to make my parents proud. But it isn't what I truly want. I hate studying . I hate school. I hate everything in my life and I just can't find a thing that's worth living for. Of course I'm not gonna end my life, but it's pointless.

Nothing fun, only useless rules, unnecessary pressure and stupid school materials. I hate all of them. I hate doing everything, I wish I could just live my own life the way I wanted to. I don't wanna listen to anyone. I don't want teachers telling me what to do. I don't want parents telling me what to do. I don't want anything, I just want to exist by myself, without having to rely on anyone.

Life is pointless anyway, why are we just accepting our depressing fate? It shouldn't be right. We're like robots at this point. Come on, we're living on a floating rock in the middle of literal nothingness, and I'm worried about a missing assignment. This is ridiculous, I actually hate living so much