A shout out to girls posting about mental struggles

You don't owe anyone here your responds, not in comments not in dm. If someone seems pushy / creepy or with ulterior motives you're 100% allowed to block them instantly.

Predators want you to think you owe them your time, your answers, your explanation and that's how the manipulation begins. They wanna save you and give you love and attention, while making you feel bad for rejecting them. You're guilt tripped in to keep contact until they know your personal info and they can meet you. And from there they guilt trip you to move in with them. And once they have you to themselves it's bye bye loving guy.

I've learned my lesson. No one who's kind would ever force you to respond, force you to agree with force you to give them attention or give them whatever they claim you owe them. Good guys take no for an answer. Good guys don't push stress force or demand. They respect your time, your person, and they want you to make you feel [i]comfortable[/i]

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NerdySoph · 26-30, F

Thank you for this, and i am sorry you had to experience a bad lesson on it.
I hope many people will see and read this post, if not to help them now, then maybe some time in the future.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@NerdySoph Thanks for supporting my post ❤️❤️

Yes thank you 💕 the danger is over now. I hope it can prevent bad things from happening. Sometimes we just need a reminder before the manipulation can take us away.

I had a big group of women in a random online forum un-manipulate me, as I was so manipulated I had made a post going something like "I need help in my relationship, my amazing boyfriend has sometimes bruised me up, how can I help [i]him[/i]?"

And they all just shouted with caps lock over and over How he's abusing me, how he can't change, how I can't help him and shouldn't try help him because he's dangerous, how it isn't love how I'm danger and need to leave him etc etc. And before hearing them repeat how bad it was.

I didn't understand it myself. I knew the abuse was wrong but I couldn't tie it to him being the bad guy.

Gaslightning is powerful things. Like some kind of hypnosis where the predator narrates the whole story and you just think it's true.

It induces so much shame. Especially after everyone around you goes "But if he bruised you up, why did you stay?"

NerdySoph · 26-30, F

@Queendragonfly That is truly heartbreaking to read, how you were in that wrong relationship with that awful man. That group of women did a great job, but, you also did a great job of getting yourself out. That took courage and strength. So happy it's over for you.
Thank you again for the post.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@NerdySoph Yes they really supported me. They were the only ones who knew the truth too.

And I thought climbing up a mountain was the scariest thing I've ever done in life,but leaving him, making an escape plan like I was in some thriller movie, secretly packing my belongings, and sneaking out, was the most terrifying thing I've done.

He found me and brought me back. The second I saw him behind the door it was like I was hypnosed all over again. Like the fear took over and made me just follow "order" like some pet.

I don't even remember how I left the second time. But then my family got involved and his family heard I was moving and somehow it was final after that.

NerdySoph · 26-30, F

@Queendragonfly That second time omg. Must have been a nightmare being under that spell again. Live happy now and keep being you. This post you made today may well have saved lives or it will.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@NerdySoph Yeah it was so strange. How can it even happen again it made no sense. But then I learned about Fawn response, a trauma mechanism where you just follow someone's lead and do what's expected to protect yourself.

Suddenly it started to make sense

I hope this post can prevent danger for others ❤️✨ thank you I'm doing my best to enjoy my life.