Has anyone just stopped caring after being defeated time and time again by forces beyond your control?

Because I am almost at that point. If I lose this job, I no longer care what happens to me. If I had a firearm, it would have been over for me already.

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Nihiless

I did yes, the moment it happens it's one of the most beautiful feelings you can experience. Obviously I don't know what you've been experiencing, but when it happens it'll all be worth it, even if it's just for that one moment.