I am questioning strength

I do not feel strong, especially at times when people are prone to mentioning it. Is that [i]why[/i] it’s mentioned? If so, it never seems like a reminder of strength. It feels like a barrier has been put up.
When I am crying over a nightmare, flashback, or trigger, where is strength in that? Is it strength that I’m still alive? Am I being congratulated for doing something I don’t want? And what of the people who went through the same things and aren’t alive? I definitely don’t feel stronger than them.
Resignation, numbness, and acceptance feel like they play more a part than strength. Are those the strength being mentioned? If so, I don’t feel like I can take credit, other than working on acceptance in therapy. If I hadn’t done that, would I not be strong?
Strength seems like I had some some other option. What could I have done differently to have that praise of strength taken away?

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SunSummoner · F

To me, strength comes in many forms. Strength is resilience. Strength is not completely giving up on yourself. Strength is forgiveness. Strength is hope. Strength can be an inch instead of a mile. There is also a kind of strength in being vulnerable. Crying over a nightmare, flashback, or triggering doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you went through a lot and crying is a good way to let it out. There is strength in emotions, and letting yourself feel what you feel. It’s apart of the healing process. Your strength can not be taken away from you. The strength that you seek is already in you. You just have to find a way to tap into it. Strength grows in the moments you think you can’t go on, but you keep going anyway.
Itsok, you are strong.