I am questioning strength

I do not feel strong, especially at times when people are prone to mentioning it. Is that [i]why[/i] it’s mentioned? If so, it never seems like a reminder of strength. It feels like a barrier has been put up.
When I am crying over a nightmare, flashback, or trigger, where is strength in that? Is it strength that I’m still alive? Am I being congratulated for doing something I don’t want? And what of the people who went through the same things and aren’t alive? I definitely don’t feel stronger than them.
Resignation, numbness, and acceptance feel like they play more a part than strength. Are those the strength being mentioned? If so, I don’t feel like I can take credit, other than working on acceptance in therapy. If I hadn’t done that, would I not be strong?
Strength seems like I had some some other option. What could I have done differently to have that praise of strength taken away?

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SW-User

I think that people see strength in endurance and that's not entirely wrong. Whether or not you had the choice to endure, you have endured and that inevitably builds resistance even if you don't always see it. It's a bit like how a boxer builds punch resistance.

What most important is the intent behind the comment and most often the intent is to empower you and to give you hope. Sometimes you can just take the intent and not analyse the words too much. Many brave, courageous or heroic people have refused to see themselves as such because they didn't have a choice in what they did. Yet their acts inspired others nonetheless. People can equally be inspired by you. They can see what you deal with and can gain hope that they can deal with their own situations. That it itself is no small thing.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@SW-User that was very well said and how I feel when I say it. That’s what I think of when I have said it to you @itsok.