Anxious
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Tired. Just tired.

It feels like there's something wrong or 'divergent' about me, on some fundamental level. Not sure if it's just depression or if there is genuinely something not right about me, but it'd be nice to know. Someone called me "autistic" and while that may not be true, it doesn't mean that they weren't expressing something entirely incorrect either. All I do know is that people don't tend to stick around very long, and it feels like no matter how much effort I put in I drive others away. Maybe it's just a perpetual aura of desperation or a result of being so depressed for so long; maybe there is actually something about me that others find repulsive. Maybe it's the culmination of all of those things and more building atop one another over a long time. Or maybe I've just as attractive a personality as I do a body. I doubt there even is an answer to this, but the thoughts never cease.

I'm sure people will be sick of me prattling on about trivial nonsense, if it gets noticed at all. Either way, hopefully this will get the thoughts out of my head for a while. Anyway, sorry.
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No need to say sorry man .This is the shit called life and we are the blessed ones to receive the ugliest share of life.