Things I could’ve…should’ve kept to myself #281

Ol Dirty Bastard now in my ear.
Shimmy, shimmy, ya, shimmy, yam, shimmy, yay 🎤

i stood in my kitchen with the freezer open yesterday talking to two frozen packages of cookie dough that says it's safe to eat about whether or not i was going to just "open them and eat them raw" for a bit before i realized that shit sounded crazy af. in my defense... it's those blueberry crumble and brown butter pillsbury ones 🥺 they have it coming These mfs, and those brown butter chocolate something or other.

It's the best way

ur funny

Taken from this world, before they had a chance to realise their full potential. 😱

And when I get asked, hey, why are there only fifteen cookies, I swear that I don’t know what they’re talking about. 🤔

But at least the new labeling makes my gluttony feel like less of a health risk.