Weird post

I've dealt with a very weird thing all of my life, and realizing it isn't normal. I have to dress in layers of clothes, hide under my covers when I sleep, and constantly worrying people are looking at me in a sexual way. I hate it. I hate that I feel like this. It's a genuine sick, stomach crawling type feeling I get. Gemini calls it hypervigilance mixed with trauma essentially. I know people are going to probably judge me for this. It's just I'm tired of feeling this way. It's a feeling I get around a family member really bad. It's so hard to describe but it feels like I'm being looked at inappropriately and I feel like I'm going to puke and usually hide away afterward. I'm tired of dealing with this sort of shit alone. But idk how to tell my therapist or if it would even benefit me to. I just feel gross.