The wait is unbearable

I have to wait until these samples I sent in come back. It’s my last hope for why Im the way I am. It won’t be a diagnosis but it will get a doctor’s attention at the least and be a clue. There has to be a reason beyond just being fucked up. My entire gene pool is fucked up beyond belief but what if there was an underlying genetic reason? Most of them are alcoholics too but Im 100% sober. Something is wrong, I’ve been just as crazy as the people who raised me though I have better control and have the benefit of not being a sociopath as well. This is unbearable just having to live like this every day.