Depression erodes everything. The biggest problem with depression is that I’m more often times than not, destroying the root cause of depression is a complete impossibility. And you’re absolutely forced to live with it.

A good example of this is when my nephew died. He was still a toddler and he passed away from cancer. So many people in the family were struck by extreme grief. Especially my brother who was inconsolable and became suicidal over the less. Leaning heavily into alcohol and drug abuse to try and numb the pain.

I’m not sure what your root cause of the symptom is. But all you can do is just live. Try not to overthink or worry too much. Eventually little things will inspire you. Don’t place burdens about “procrastination” upon yourself. When people lose the ability or drive to do things it simply can’t be helped. It’s best not to burden yourself further.

I can guarantee you that few if any are judging you. There’s actually lots of gym YouTubers/influencers who cover this very topic. “Nobody cares” is a common theme in gym culture. Where everyone actually wants you to be inspired and to go the gym. As long as you’re bettering yourself, that’s what gym culture cares about. They don’t care how you start, how much weight you’re lifting, or what kind of exercises you choose to do, or how you look… Everyone is focused on their own gym routine as well, and only wish to support others in making their gains as well….

Though both depression and introversion can leave people feeling like all eyes are in you and that you’re being judged or doing everything wrong…

Anyways I hope you feel better. Even if it’s just in glimpses and moments.