Progress! Waking up not feeling awful
Since my post the other day where I was at my wits' end about my body waking up in just full disaster alarm mode every single day. I have been working hard to implement coping strategies and figure out how to decrease/stop this response in myself.
Here is what I did in case others have the same issue and it could help them too.
I identified things about my bedroom that made me feel unsafe. Namely it was that it was too dark and too quiet. (When it was dark and quiet....everyone asleep....I was abused) I haven't been able to do much about the light situation yet but I have ordered a night light. (We have one lamp in our room but it's way too bright to sleep with). And I started listening to rain sounds on youtube when I'd go to sleep.
In addition to this, I started trying to identify any negative thoughts I had surrounding sleep and bedtime. And I became aware....that it is a tendency of mine at bedtime to think of bad things. Painful things I went through....or things I am worried about. So I began changing my thought tract. Before bed, I began focusing on thinking of things that comforted me....made me happy...or were at least neutral.
Between these 2 things. I changed nothing else, just started falling asleep to rain noises and changing my thoughts at bedtime. I am no longer waking up drenched in sweat. Or with starvation hunger cramps. Or having to use the bathroom really badly. Nothing. It is just a totally shocking difference.
I know from my last post, people were very concerned for me telling me to see a doctor. However, I have been down that route. I have no medical issues. Furthermore, there is a great poverty of education as to how trauma and anxiety can manifest physically in the body. Many people feel offended and hurt to be told their problems are "just anxiety". But the truth is trauma and anxiety can have SERIOUS physical impact on the body and even lead to chronic health conditions. Just because your health problems are being caused by a psychological source....does not mean they are any less serious or should be not be treated and taken seriously. You just....don't treat it with medicine. At least not for forever maybe temporarily to help out while you sort out your issues. You need to treat it with self work...therapy....etc.
If you have struggled for years with random various health disorders that have no known cause....particularly if they are GI related....or you get headaches....mysterious pains elsewhere....chronic fatigue....and yes it can be so severe you can be totally bedbound and be unable to function...even seizures can be caused by excessive stress and trauma history. These things....all very likely could be due to psychological issues you are not addressing. There is a vast amount of literature on this topic. It helps to educate yourself. So that you do not end up using bandaid treatments or being on medication for life that is not actually solving your problems...it is just helping mask the symptoms...but they will tend to just pop up in another way. Or get worse. Of course you should always do due diligence and get cleared medically if very concerned but.....don't just scoff at people who tell you your health problems may be psychological in origin. Mind and body....very connected. It does not mean your health problems are "not real" it means they were caused by psychological factors not medical ones. Whether you have IBS due to bad genetics or IBS due to PTSD....it is still IBS yall. Is what i am trying to say. Lol. It just changes how you can treat it most effectively.
Anyhow. I am thrilled to make such progress and not be waking up in just agony anymore from my fight or flight system going off. When I first remembered the repressed stuff it was even worse. I woke up with with full blown panic attacks and my husband would have to help me through them. I have come so far. I have been through heinous heinous shit. But I am healing at an insane pace now that I have finally come to terms with my past and accepted that how I was living was not working for me anymore. I will try to post more of my recovery so that others who struggle similarly may have hope.
Here is what I did in case others have the same issue and it could help them too.
I identified things about my bedroom that made me feel unsafe. Namely it was that it was too dark and too quiet. (When it was dark and quiet....everyone asleep....I was abused) I haven't been able to do much about the light situation yet but I have ordered a night light. (We have one lamp in our room but it's way too bright to sleep with). And I started listening to rain sounds on youtube when I'd go to sleep.
In addition to this, I started trying to identify any negative thoughts I had surrounding sleep and bedtime. And I became aware....that it is a tendency of mine at bedtime to think of bad things. Painful things I went through....or things I am worried about. So I began changing my thought tract. Before bed, I began focusing on thinking of things that comforted me....made me happy...or were at least neutral.
Between these 2 things. I changed nothing else, just started falling asleep to rain noises and changing my thoughts at bedtime. I am no longer waking up drenched in sweat. Or with starvation hunger cramps. Or having to use the bathroom really badly. Nothing. It is just a totally shocking difference.
I know from my last post, people were very concerned for me telling me to see a doctor. However, I have been down that route. I have no medical issues. Furthermore, there is a great poverty of education as to how trauma and anxiety can manifest physically in the body. Many people feel offended and hurt to be told their problems are "just anxiety". But the truth is trauma and anxiety can have SERIOUS physical impact on the body and even lead to chronic health conditions. Just because your health problems are being caused by a psychological source....does not mean they are any less serious or should be not be treated and taken seriously. You just....don't treat it with medicine. At least not for forever maybe temporarily to help out while you sort out your issues. You need to treat it with self work...therapy....etc.
If you have struggled for years with random various health disorders that have no known cause....particularly if they are GI related....or you get headaches....mysterious pains elsewhere....chronic fatigue....and yes it can be so severe you can be totally bedbound and be unable to function...even seizures can be caused by excessive stress and trauma history. These things....all very likely could be due to psychological issues you are not addressing. There is a vast amount of literature on this topic. It helps to educate yourself. So that you do not end up using bandaid treatments or being on medication for life that is not actually solving your problems...it is just helping mask the symptoms...but they will tend to just pop up in another way. Or get worse. Of course you should always do due diligence and get cleared medically if very concerned but.....don't just scoff at people who tell you your health problems may be psychological in origin. Mind and body....very connected. It does not mean your health problems are "not real" it means they were caused by psychological factors not medical ones. Whether you have IBS due to bad genetics or IBS due to PTSD....it is still IBS yall. Is what i am trying to say. Lol. It just changes how you can treat it most effectively.
Anyhow. I am thrilled to make such progress and not be waking up in just agony anymore from my fight or flight system going off. When I first remembered the repressed stuff it was even worse. I woke up with with full blown panic attacks and my husband would have to help me through them. I have come so far. I have been through heinous heinous shit. But I am healing at an insane pace now that I have finally come to terms with my past and accepted that how I was living was not working for me anymore. I will try to post more of my recovery so that others who struggle similarly may have hope.
