Venting about alcoholism and general despair

Last Sunday, about two in the morning, I had been drinking for three hours or so as I like to do in the evening, when I realized I was running low on booze. It wasn't going to last me through the weekend since the liquor stores are closed on Sundays. So I rummaged through my bathroom and found hand sanitizer, and I spiked my drink with a small hit of that to make sure my booze would last the next night as well. This is idiotic of course, since hand sanitizer can be toxic and whatnot. But I had my pistol on my desk with me, figuring that if I were to turn blind from drinking hand sanitizer, I could shoot myself and finally be done with everything. Turns out nothing happened apart from the usual hangover, but that's the state I'm in regarding life and drinking.
Just venting.

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OogieBoogie · F

Ahhh.
That's honest .

Struggles are such a trying time
Its a sad brutal truth that we need the lows, (and some questionable decisions 😏), to learn, to grow, to work towards a better place.

Also, the only thing youll get from hand sanitizer ....is more ethenol. Too much - alcohol poisoning (which in the way youre using it i doubt will happen)

It is usually 70% ethylalcohol that is used in sanitizer, (usually with a little glycerine).... so drink plenty of water to recover .
Glycerine draws water out of cells.