Can’t shake it

I’m so tired of crying at work. Grown ass man having to go hide somewhere to keep himself from being seen. I can’t get my mind out of the past. I isolate then cry about being alone. Or memories come and I look where I am now and I just can’t contain the despair. I wish my brain didn’t work this way. Maybe typing out the words will help. Probably not. I’m too old for this.