How self sabotage works

@ChiefJustWalks I can relate. As long you are trying, We definitely rooting for you

@empanadas thanks man I'm rooting for you too 🙏 it's crazy how many of us self destruct.. I tend to do it until I have nothing

@ChiefJustWalks believe it or not it's something you have to teach yourself to not do.
Some people are raised believing they are worthless and don't deserve anything good.
It's a hard cycle to break when you have been raised to feel that way.
It has to be an actual effort towards believing in yourself and believing that you deserve better than you had.
A lot of people use cognitive behavioral therapy for this. Pretty much seeing a counselor.
I never thought that I needed a counselor. My problems were chemical imbalance based. The place where I see my shrink for my medication makes you see a counselor if you see the shrink.
They are mostly an observer on how the medication is affecting you in my case. But they are also counselors and act like it.
Man is it amazing to have someone like that to talk to.
I know that I had a really f***** up life for a long time but it's amazing to see from an educated perspective on how that is affected a lot of my life not counting the chemical imbalance.
If nothing else she is someone that is in your corner. Someone who wants the best for you. Someone who wants you to excel.
She is pretty much everything I never had growing up.
It's had amazing effects on my Outlook.
Turns out I am a lot better of a person than I ever thought I was.
Even though I never thought of talking with her about anything other than the medication she has been super helpful in observing and explaining things about myself that I either learned in my childhood or even in my young adulthood that help me understand myself now and why I do the f***** up s*** I do all the time.

@Dainbramadge I've never really considered talking to a counselor or anything along those lines. But I do remember in high school my school counselor always tried talking to me. Whenever I was kicked outta school there were times she saved my ass without me even asking or wanting her to. I remember my principal storming in, cussing me out, telling me how much he hated people like me & didn't want me in his school but the only reason I was still there was my counselor. She fought for me all the time even though I would never talk to her.

Found out later that my counselor was the mother of my journalism teacher. & My journalism teacher loved me a lot. That's why she looked out for me

@ChiefJustWalks you know one cool thing that I learned from my counselor about myself that really is helping me understand why I do things is she observed that I am a black or white thinker.
I'm either on or I'm off. I either follow all of the rules or none of them. You wouldn't believe how much that has explained about myself.
Yeah brother I give counselors two enthusiastic thumbs up.

@ChiefJustWalks I see you 🤗❤️ I see you trying to heal and do better. i know it’s exhausting and sometimes defeating to always have to dig but it’s okay we can dig together and then take a break and then get up and do it again. Okay? You’re going to be fine. This isn’t forever 🤗. Because you’re so wanted and needed here and you might as well stick it out and see what comes of it. You’ve made it this far.

@Stark you're gonna make me cry lol gettin' me all sensitive & shit 🥺 but thank you 🤗
I believe you, as people we just have a tendency to be so hard on ourselves & punish ourselves when we don't even deserve it. I feel like I can see my worth but it's hard to feel it sometimes if that makes sense.
& You're such a beautiful person 🖤 you're my favorite person I've met on here & the more I learn about you the more I like you. You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself either & I'm glad you're working on it too. I'll be here for it 😌

@Dainbramadge that's an interesting thing about you & I think a lot of people are like that without ever even thinking about it. My mom's kinda like that too. She's either all in, or all out.
I find that I'm kinda mix of everything 😂 in like.. every subject lol

@ChiefJustWalks 🤗❤️You make a lot of sense to me.