Have you experienced unconditional love?

I wonder often what that could ever be like or feel like. Having a sadistic, violent and mentally ill mother, I have not known any person to accept and love me, fully. I do have severe PTSD from the awful years withstanding her torture, and it's only natural one would feel inhuman and broken. I do not know how ill ever find a man to accept someone with so much trauma. Have you experienced unconditional love? Do you fear you'll never find it?

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bijouxbroussard · F

I guess I don’t expect that as an adult. The closest I had to that as a child were my parents and grandparents, who seemed to love and accept me no matter what. Adult relationships take more work, more give and take.

RockinPop54 · M

@bijouxbroussard Not if you fin the right partner. My wife loves me in spite of my faults! Which are MANY!

bijouxbroussard · F

@RockinPop54 I have conditions, and I think most people with healthy self-esteem do: I won’t stick around for someone who cheats or is abusive. I’m a widow, but my husband was kind to me and did none of that.

RockinPop54 · M

@bijouxbroussard That's not "conditions" that's expecting honesty in return for yours. Which is 100% reasonable!

bijouxbroussard · F

@RockinPop54 Unconditional love means “without conditions”. That’s literally the definition. I have some conditions. He can’t cheat or abuse me. I’m being completely honest about that. I worked in a shelter and saw plenty of women who didn’t have those boundaries.

RockinPop54 · M

@bijouxbroussard Sorry, but I don't see where those are "conditions".
Fidelity & respect SHOULD be expected! So I see you "conditions" as reasonable expectations.
My wife & I have been married over 50 years, there is no one we trust more than each other.
We respect each other & we respect each other's boundaries. She deserves privacy in area of her life & so do I.

bijouxbroussard · F

@RockinPop54 That’s wonderful and it sounds like what a marriage should be. My parents were happily married for 66 years and were kind, respectful and loving to each other. So I saw what a good marriage looked like. But the definition of "unconditional love” was what they showed us. We made mistakes, occasionally screwed up as we worked towards becoming productive members of society. Our parents guided us, were there for us anyway and we never felt that they didn’t still love us, even when we were at our least lovable.