How spontaneously intimate are you, or can you be?

I tried to be spontaneously intimate with both my ex's but both tended to shun/reject most of my moves to initiate, so I learnt to not do it because the feelings were mostly one-sided. Esp my second ex. First one was more accepting of me being unable to work out how to do it 'properly'. Second one was just a love-tard only ever giving when she wanted it.

I've never been able to work out how to have mutually positive intimate experiences when I try to start them. I'm neuro-spicy so I don't see intimacy and relationships like most people do.