how can I keep my mind off my ex?

Stop being dependent on men! Be yourself, be a free woman!
Men are sexy toys, very useful but expendable – stop seeing any of them as indispensable. 🌷

Find a new better man!

Also realize that you don't love him, you love your own mental potential of him... which mistakenly makes him better than he actually is...

Your mind loves a white knight, but he's not actually a white knight, but your mind is making him out to be that..

I am sorry to say this because of your pain, but I lived through the same thing...LONG before I signed on to SW. I no longer love or miss the ex, but I wouldn't have said the same if you had asked me in 2009.

Our minds play tricks on us when we are in pain. We develop selective amnesia. We can ONLY remember the love and the good times. We forget the abuse. We become so lonely we can only see the path backwards.

In my case, I even tried to reconcile with him. I discovered before the moving truck was unloaded that I had made a terrible mistake. He USED my stupidity as his one chance to get revenge. And he got it. Thoroughly.

This isn't the place I'd take that kind of advice. Too many expert arm chair psychologists that can't even handle their own situations.

By not forgetting or excusing the abusive behavior part.

You will learn the hard way. Sorry

Soooooooo you miss being a doormat?? The words "SOME abusive behavior" don't wave any red flags in your mind????

Maybe write a letter or diary about it to sort your feelings? Idk

Get over it. If he's an abuser, he's not worth your time.

Keep yourself busy. If you don't have a long-term project, get one. If you have an interest already, pursue it.