I Believe In Love
My previous post... well, it was written about 2 years ago and today, this morning... right now... I am struggling with the same empty feeling that has been creeping in time and time again lately. Questions swirl in my brain - am I in love? Am I capable of love? Do I want to be in love? Do I need love? And on and on.
Is what I share with my girlfriend love? It seems such hard work and, being me, I'm prone to always worrying I am somehow not "doing it right" or well enough. The fact I look forward to her being at work so I can relax those worries seems like perhaps we are not the best fit. But then I think how grateful I am for some of the ways she is different than past relationships. I psyche myself into the relationship by saying,"Tomorrow I will wake up fresh and rested and be grateful for what I have. Tomorrow things will click into place".
All the tomorrows haven't filled the void in my soul that seems only to grow as I ponder how fit I am to be "in love" with anyone.
Is what I share with my girlfriend love? It seems such hard work and, being me, I'm prone to always worrying I am somehow not "doing it right" or well enough. The fact I look forward to her being at work so I can relax those worries seems like perhaps we are not the best fit. But then I think how grateful I am for some of the ways she is different than past relationships. I psyche myself into the relationship by saying,"Tomorrow I will wake up fresh and rested and be grateful for what I have. Tomorrow things will click into place".
All the tomorrows haven't filled the void in my soul that seems only to grow as I ponder how fit I am to be "in love" with anyone.
