I Believe In Love

My previous post... well, it was written about 2 years ago and today, this morning... right now... I am struggling with the same empty feeling that has been creeping in time and time again lately. Questions swirl in my brain - am I in love? Am I capable of love? Do I want to be in love? Do I need love? And on and on.

Is what I share with my girlfriend love? It seems such hard work and, being me, I'm prone to always worrying I am somehow not "doing it right" or well enough. The fact I look forward to her being at work so I can relax those worries seems like perhaps we are not the best fit. But then I think how grateful I am for some of the ways she is different than past relationships. I psyche myself into the relationship by saying,"Tomorrow I will wake up fresh and rested and be grateful for what I have. Tomorrow things will click into place".

All the tomorrows haven't filled the void in my soul that seems only to grow as I ponder how fit I am to be "in love" with anyone.

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JerseyGal · 51-55, F

These same questions take over my mind many times over the last five years or so.

I can't help but to think that if you look forward to her being at work so you can relax those feelings...maybe you are right and not the best "fit".

I don't think that it's that we are not "fit" to be "in love" with anyone. I believe that if or when that someone is truly the one we are meant to be with, our heart,our soul...will know and we feel that deep connection. Instead of being happy for the person to be away, at work...when it's right, you cannot wait to be close to them again.

May you find the peace and love you deserve.

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@Wingz1969: Thank you for your thoughts. LONG night... hard talks.... who knows.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

This why I won't get myself into a relationship. I have been there before, feelings of uncertainty and confusion can be exhausting. I believe in love but still I think I am better off without it.

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@WiseGirl: I think I am on that road, though I am weak when it comes to knowing how to disentangle or "break up". I am one who always hopes the other does... But i don't think it will happen here and I am not sure, at this moment, it is what I want. Keep hoping some brilliant insight one way or the other will pop into my head.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

@DeanNGone: I don't mean to pry but I think if you are questioning yourself this much there is a problem. Ending a relationship is never easy especially if you care about the other person but lying to oneself about the way you feel can prove to be detrimental for you both in the long run. I wish you well, hope you find peace of mind soon.

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@WiseGirl: Oh, I have problems... there is no question about that and yes, they affect much around me - including relationships. My life is one giant "?". Thank you for your kind words.

Jeephikelove · 51-55, F

Wow 🤗

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