How could you view love as less intimidating?

Whether it be love, dating, etc I get just terrified I'm not enough. It's hard believing someone who has chronic social anxiety (me) , could be a good catch or match for anyone 🥺
I just wish I could view it all as less intimidating...

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Vacantfever41 · 46-50, F Best Comment

Love can feel like stepping onto a stage with no script, and if you already live with social anxiety, the spotlight feels ten times harsher. The thing is, “being enough” isn’t about performing perfectly or never fumbling words… it’s about showing up as you are, quirks and all.

Try flipping the perspective: instead of love being this intimidating exam you have to pass, think of it as two people just seeing if your puzzle pieces fit. You don’t have to be everyone’s match…you just have to be the right match for someone. And often, the very vulnerability you’re afraid of is what makes you relatable and magnetic.

Dating and love get less scary when you stop treating them like a final judgment on your worth. They’re just experiments, little test drives of connection. If someone can’t appreciate you, that’s not proof you’re “not enough” it’s just proof they’re not your person. 💗

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Vacantfever41 I'm just afraid showing up as I am will send a guy running. If most people have a couple issues or quirks, I have triple that. I fear they'd think me a burden when I can't do all the fun dating activities most couples do...take mini trips, go to big festivals, etc. I can't offer much in social things, but I guess i can offer humor and patience and compassion. Thanks for a thoughtful response 🌞

Vacantfever41 · 46-50, F

@Coralmist , I get that feeling. It’s easy to compare yourself to what ‘most couples do’ and feel like you’re coming up short…a lot of people aren’t looking for someone who can check off every adventure on a bucket list…they’re looking for someone who makes them feel seen, understood, and cared for. Humor, patience, and compassion are huge. Those are the things that stick, the things that actually matter in a relationship.

Yes, you might have some limitations in what activities you can do, but that doesn’t make you a burden it just means your connection might look a little different than the typical couple. Those differences can make it even more meaningful, bc’ it’s about how you relate to each other, not the number of festivals you attend. So don’t sell yourself short. The right person won’t 🏃 they’ll stick around and appreciate all the unique pieces that make you, you. :)

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Vacantfever41 Thank you Vacant. Your words let me take a load of fear off my shoulders. It's hard wondering when a person will drop you because you can't do normal things. Thanks for saying not everyone WILL do that to me. 🍀🫂