Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M
[media=https://youtu.be/xb4o68taA0g?si=aK9hLch2QeXmjxG3]
twistedrope · 26-30, M
Unconditional love is a bad term. I'd call it "Love without conditions." That is "I will love you without conditions on how you act."
This is completely possible and the norm.
If you call conditional love "I will love you if you don't hurt me." that is still unconditional love imo. It is not "You will hurt me, so I don't love you." like some story narrative. It is "I feel hurt. You acted in a way that got me hurt and continue to act as such. I cannot be around you anymore."
The feeling of love is not taught, it is just another function of the body like breathing like eating. A very complex process but something that just happens without much prompting sometimes. It may also be something that grows over time. You can be conscious of love, you can be not conscious of love but the feeling is there.
Love is not conditional because it does not exist based on conditions. It comes to exist and exists until it disappears. Calling love conditional would be like calling milk conditional. Or calling aluminum conditional. It simply is born in a situation until feelings wear it away. Those are my thoughts anyway.
This is completely possible and the norm.
If you call conditional love "I will love you if you don't hurt me." that is still unconditional love imo. It is not "You will hurt me, so I don't love you." like some story narrative. It is "I feel hurt. You acted in a way that got me hurt and continue to act as such. I cannot be around you anymore."
The feeling of love is not taught, it is just another function of the body like breathing like eating. A very complex process but something that just happens without much prompting sometimes. It may also be something that grows over time. You can be conscious of love, you can be not conscious of love but the feeling is there.
Love is not conditional because it does not exist based on conditions. It comes to exist and exists until it disappears. Calling love conditional would be like calling milk conditional. Or calling aluminum conditional. It simply is born in a situation until feelings wear it away. Those are my thoughts anyway.
bijouxbroussard · F
@twistedrope I think I understand, and I can see the logic in your observations.
I often hear people say, "you can’t control who you fall in love with" and perhaps that’s so, but one can control whether or not they act upon those feelings.
If it means staying away from the person, and immersing oneself in work, other activities, other possible partners, often the feelings will dissipate or not develop further.
The exception (imo) is the love of a parent for their child. That love, when it exists, seems capable of surviving all transgressions.
I’ve even known of parents who continued to love and protect the child who killed a sibling. 🥺
I often hear people say, "you can’t control who you fall in love with" and perhaps that’s so, but one can control whether or not they act upon those feelings.
If it means staying away from the person, and immersing oneself in work, other activities, other possible partners, often the feelings will dissipate or not develop further.
The exception (imo) is the love of a parent for their child. That love, when it exists, seems capable of surviving all transgressions.
I’ve even known of parents who continued to love and protect the child who killed a sibling. 🥺
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twistedrope · 26-30, M
@bijouxbroussard
That's one perspective and I think its true. Behavior breeds the same behaviour. The more you do something, the easier it gets. Affection and playfulness to the one you love, allowing those loving feelings to overcome you... All just gets easier with repetition and dies off with neglect.
Mm. As someone who has had to cut off both of their parents, maybe that love still exists for them. However, that bond is too profaned for me to allow it to be kept alive.
That's one perspective and I think its true. Behavior breeds the same behaviour. The more you do something, the easier it gets. Affection and playfulness to the one you love, allowing those loving feelings to overcome you... All just gets easier with repetition and dies off with neglect.
Mm. As someone who has had to cut off both of their parents, maybe that love still exists for them. However, that bond is too profaned for me to allow it to be kept alive.
NoGamesTolerated · F
Kaetana · 56-60, F
@NoGamesTolerated A fine example ,the “Love of God” and of “ ‘a good Parent’
🙂 Now where is the third example?
🙂 Now where is the third example?
NoGamesTolerated · F
@Kaetana The love of HIS people to ALL!!!
GeniUs · 56-60, M
This concept was floated to me about 20 years ago and is mostly true but there are examples of people remaining with loved ones when the loved one can no longer give them anything through disability, does that count or is it only because they've built up a lifetime of kudos?
bijouxbroussard · F
Jexie · 26-30, F
I don't think it's impossible. It may not be a 100% but close. Depends on the depth of the connection and the type of relationship. Like some parents will love their kid unconditionally
Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M
Mk to Kristi “You are my morning, my day, and my night. I love you so much it hurts. I
wish I could take the chemo for you. That would only be fair. But life's not fair. So for
now all I can do is hold you in my arms and my dreams."
wish I could take the chemo for you. That would only be fair. But life's not fair. So for
now all I can do is hold you in my arms and my dreams."
Selah ·
That is usually reserved for babies. Very strange and unhealthy for adults to have no conditions for their love bc of how vulnerable it makes a person.
hippyjoe1955 · 70-79, M
No. It is possible to love without seeking to receive. It is much nicer to receive in return but not necessary.
WandererTony · 56-60, M
Of course one can love without reciprocate feelings or gestures.
Thats the sweetness of love. Especially unrequited love ❤ 😍 💖 ❣ 💕
Thats the sweetness of love. Especially unrequited love ❤ 😍 💖 ❣ 💕
karens · 22-25, F
i have it, so i guess its YMMV
ElRengo · 70-79, M
Do you think people can truly care about someone?
Yes.
Yes.
YoMomma ·
They can and some do 🙂
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
No
It’s impossible if you are a narcissist or a sociopath. LOL
ShenaniganFoodie · 36-40, M
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