Do you think people can truly care about someone?

Isn’t it true that unconditional love is impossible?People only love you because you can give them something physically or emotionally?
The love is based on what they gain?

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twistedrope · 26-30, M

Unconditional love is a bad term. I'd call it "Love without conditions." That is "I will love you without conditions on how you act."

This is completely possible and the norm.

If you call conditional love "I will love you if you don't hurt me." that is still unconditional love imo. It is not "You will hurt me, so I don't love you." like some story narrative. It is "I feel hurt. You acted in a way that got me hurt and continue to act as such. I cannot be around you anymore."

The feeling of love is not taught, it is just another function of the body like breathing like eating. A very complex process but something that just happens without much prompting sometimes. It may also be something that grows over time. You can be conscious of love, you can be not conscious of love but the feeling is there.

Love is not conditional because it does not exist based on conditions. It comes to exist and exists until it disappears. Calling love conditional would be like calling milk conditional. Or calling aluminum conditional. It simply is born in a situation until feelings wear it away. Those are my thoughts anyway.

bijouxbroussard · F

@twistedrope I think I understand, and I can see the logic in your observations.

I often hear people say, "you can’t control who you fall in love with" and perhaps that’s so, but one can control whether or not they act upon those feelings.

If it means staying away from the person, and immersing oneself in work, other activities, other possible partners, often the feelings will dissipate or not develop further.

The exception (imo) is the love of a parent for their child. That love, when it exists, seems capable of surviving all transgressions.
I’ve even known of parents who continued to love and protect the child who killed a sibling. 🥺

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twistedrope · 26-30, M

@bijouxbroussard
That's one perspective and I think its true. Behavior breeds the same behaviour. The more you do something, the easier it gets. Affection and playfulness to the one you love, allowing those loving feelings to overcome you... All just gets easier with repetition and dies off with neglect.

Mm. As someone who has had to cut off both of their parents, maybe that love still exists for them. However, that bond is too profaned for me to allow it to be kept alive.