I just want someone who loves me the way I will them and stop playing with me it hurts I'm just about 30 almost

I think that's what we all seek is a proper genuine two-way (or more than two way if you're poly/threesome-inclined) romantic connection. I've stopped trying to find it now though and even if it 'slapped me in the face' I'd probably still be highly suspicious with loads of freaking out. 8-)