I just want someone who loves me the way I will them and stop playing with me it hurts I'm just about 30 almost

You have to look to yourself and your choice of women. If you're abused by one woman, that could be on her. But if you're abused or taken advantage of by two, three, four women, then you're the common denominator and the problem could be you. Before you take up with another woman, think hard about why you're attracted to her and consider if there are any similarities with the women who have already abused you, is this new woman displaying any red flags? A lot of people are subconsciously attracted to negative partners for various reasons. It's not the women, per se. It's your choices that are at fault.

I think that's what we all seek is a proper genuine two-way (or more than two way if you're poly/threesome-inclined) romantic connection. I've stopped trying to find it now though and even if it 'slapped me in the face' I'd probably still be highly suspicious with loads of freaking out. 8-)

I feel the same way

Don't we all? Unfortunately, givers are attracted to takers and takers to givers. They need each other. Givers need takers and takers need givers. 🤦

Same