How to not feel selfish for wanting love?

I know for some it may sound strange to say that but for me I have felt selfish when I long for something good. I know the root of the fear began growing up. I was made to feel I am bad, low and do not deserve good things. Had daily belittling, chaos and sometimes physical assault. So I just lately have been trying to ATTEMPT to believe I could deserve or want love too..although its HARD.
My mind will try to say I am being selfish to want something so good. Yet I see many many have and embrace love. It feels like extreme sadness inside thinking I am selfish to even want it. How can one not feel it is too good to want love?
(Romantic love I am referring to)
🩷🥺💜

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SW-User Best Comment

It's not selfish; you must remember, and I have felt this before, being in love and I only felt selfish for ending when I felt we became toxic together? You must remember people have the same longs, desires, and wants as you. It's rare we meet people who understand ourselves, like those we want from love,

Imagine giving yourself to someone you love, imagine if you never give yourself this way, and there is another one just like you wanting what you want, who understands you. To not give is just as selfish.... all love is selfish in a way, what makes up for it, is what you and they give.

And I'm looking like you, with questions the same way, but the question of when it's so good, that is what you are after, and they are after.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@SW-User Thank you for a reflective reply. 🍂 That is true..closing myself off completely from guys or love could be selfish too.. what if I COULD be enough even with all my issues and limitations? My aunt said once "Some guy out there is missing out"..but I could not fully believe it . But yes everyone wants lovel!!! Not just me. Ty again windup🌹

SW-User

@Coralmist It's not easy, and the longer I'm single, the harder I imagine meeting anyone. I've been in two long relationships, tried keeping friends with them, and I do in some light. But the longer I am alone, I can't help but feel lonely, and changing that becomes harder. You start to learn where you are, you start to accept, even when you are lonely. Yes, everyone wants love, not just you, and how do I word you are a compassionate loving woman, with anxieties, I understand prevent, but may you find someone who loves with all your flaws, warts, who embraces you.... 🌹

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@SW-User It IS hard when single for so long..you start to believe it must not be for you. You will find someone I bet at the least expected time! Windup! And thanks..really..for saying those things about me. 🪻

SW-User

@Coralmist I only see you as kind, I'd meet you, but very far away. Only meaning to express you have parts about you some men love. You express yourself vulnerable, and it's hard, maybe easier here? But if I can give you words, there is someone close to you who doesn't want the girls on the dating app who present themselves perfect, who may love your vulnerability. I'm almost done with the idea of dating, I gave myself to my ex who needed care, as a friend, and it's always become since, why didn't you move on?

Well that sucks, when her father had cancer after. I learned, the pool is shallow, and I'd rather find someone who understands I gave towards someone I didn't have to, who gave to her, instead of looking in jealousy. In an ethical world that held value, to me, me giving myself to my ex, as a friend then, helping her was bigger than any date.

I had one on the evening of his death, express to me get over her. And ps, it wasn't a date, it was a random encounter. People don't know the seeds they grow in their inhumane expressions.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@SW-User I am sorry of her passing..what a wonderful friend you are, I am sure she was so grateful for your aid. 🍁