Hurt By Her Response and Blame (Not Gaslighting)

It’s so much fun feeling gaslit in a panic when someone hurts you. My *it’s complicated* friend has a long trip from her job which she says she’ll let me know when she gets to her destination. She doesn’t. Five hours after she was supposed to be there I’ve heard nothing, and she doesn’t respond to calls or texts. Calls start to go straight to voicemail. So, I call her work who can’t get a hold of her either. At this point I’m terrified something happened to her. So, I try calling for a safety check at her destination. So, she gets mad at me for doing so and interrupting her sleep. So, yup… At least I know she’s safe… Even if she decides to stop talking to me I guess.

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Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F

@NewMan2015 I saw the posts below before I commented. That’s how I do things.

Bottom line is you have accused her of gaslighting you (this term makes my skin crawl). In doing so, you’ve used your emotions as a weapon against her over something insignificant. IF she apologizes over this, YOU have actually gaslit HER.

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

@Pinkstarburst So it’s ok that she did for me? But when I’m equally concerned about her it’s my fault either way? This respect and expectations should go both ways. I’m tired of always being the one that had to absorb whatever anyone else does to me plus have my feelings dismissed. We have the expectations we have of each other. I apologized for scaring her the night she called them on me. And I should also apologize for calling them when I was concerned? Clearly you DIDN’T read everything because that inconsistency is not fair to me. Again, SHE HAS DONE THE SAME FOR ME. Because when one loves someone going a long distance and has been mutually expected of both of us, you ensure the loved one knows you’re safe because shit happens. It’s called concern for their lives and safety.

Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F

@NewMan2015 Sounds like y’all should reconsider this toxic friendship.