Hurt By Her Response and Blame (Not Gaslighting)

It’s so much fun feeling gaslit in a panic when someone hurts you. My *it’s complicated* friend has a long trip from her job which she says she’ll let me know when she gets to her destination. She doesn’t. Five hours after she was supposed to be there I’ve heard nothing, and she doesn’t respond to calls or texts. Calls start to go straight to voicemail. So, I call her work who can’t get a hold of her either. At this point I’m terrified something happened to her. So, I try calling for a safety check at her destination. So, she gets mad at me for doing so and interrupting her sleep. So, yup… At least I know she’s safe… Even if she decides to stop talking to me I guess.

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Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F

This isn’t gaslighting. It’s a person who forgot to call you after a long trip because they were exhausted and is pissed at you because you involved her work and the police based on your insecurities.

If anything, you have blamed your friend for your own emotional issues and, in my opinion, kind of stalking.

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

@Pinkstarburst At this point see the comments below. This is an established mutual and reciprocated agreement that she has even enacted on me with a welfare check. There are a variety of reasons for me to be concerned for her welfare on such a night trip (as described below). These aren’t insecurities and stalking. This is her not following through on something that we’ve reciprocally done for each other to make sure the other is safe on a long trip.