Hurt By Her Response and Blame (Not Gaslighting)

It’s so much fun feeling gaslit in a panic when someone hurts you. My *it’s complicated* friend has a long trip from her job which she says she’ll let me know when she gets to her destination. She doesn’t. Five hours after she was supposed to be there I’ve heard nothing, and she doesn’t respond to calls or texts. Calls start to go straight to voicemail. So, I call her work who can’t get a hold of her either. At this point I’m terrified something happened to her. So, I try calling for a safety check at her destination. So, she gets mad at me for doing so and interrupting her sleep. So, yup… At least I know she’s safe… Even if she decides to stop talking to me I guess.

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BabyLonia · F

I get you are upset but i agree with the other posters. This is not gaslighting.

It was a long trip, maybe she was tired and maybe you have over reacted a little?

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

@BabyLonia I’ve agreed with the gaslighting part with others. My interpretation was blaming me for the issue when she’s the one who didn’t follow through. In my panic I was wrong. I don’t think it was an overreaction though. 1) This is something we do for each other regularly. 2) She has notorious night blindness (She once said on a trip “Ooh the car lights look like fireworks…”). 3) Her narcissist ex-husband is unstable right now. She’s said as much (she’s a psych professional). And she’s renting from him to be near the kids right now.

BabyLonia · F

@NewMan2015 you were anxious she was tired which is what compounded the issue. Maybe when all is calm explain to her that you worry and when she says she will do something she should follow through.

I get the worry you felt