Hurt By Her Response and Blame (Not Gaslighting)

It’s so much fun feeling gaslit in a panic when someone hurts you. My *it’s complicated* friend has a long trip from her job which she says she’ll let me know when she gets to her destination. She doesn’t. Five hours after she was supposed to be there I’ve heard nothing, and she doesn’t respond to calls or texts. Calls start to go straight to voicemail. So, I call her work who can’t get a hold of her either. At this point I’m terrified something happened to her. So, I try calling for a safety check at her destination. So, she gets mad at me for doing so and interrupting her sleep. So, yup… At least I know she’s safe… Even if she decides to stop talking to me I guess.

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JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F

Holy shit... ..she doesn't have to let you know her every move.

She was sleeping and you freaked out because she didn't reply.

This is not gaslighting.

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

@JaggedLittlePill It was an agreed upon thing to let me know she arrived and safe. We have this for each other’s safety (same for me when I go a long distance). I was concerned for her safety. I didn’t need to know anything more than she was safe. I went to bed once I did. When someone you love whether it’s a friend, child, spouse, whomever, if they don’t call when they agreed to on a long trip I would hope you’d be worried too. There are dangerous people and just a host of events that can happen on a long trip. If she hadn’t been there. Then she could’ve been injured, harmed, broken down without a working phone, etc and someone would need to find her. She didn’t have to tell me every little detail. I don’t need to know everything. And she understands that.

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

As to the gaslighting… I am starting to concur with another commenter below that it may not meet the qualifications of that after all. But, I was still coming down from a panic about her safety.