Hurt By Her Response and Blame (Not Gaslighting)

It’s so much fun feeling gaslit in a panic when someone hurts you. My *it’s complicated* friend has a long trip from her job which she says she’ll let me know when she gets to her destination. She doesn’t. Five hours after she was supposed to be there I’ve heard nothing, and she doesn’t respond to calls or texts. Calls start to go straight to voicemail. So, I call her work who can’t get a hold of her either. At this point I’m terrified something happened to her. So, I try calling for a safety check at her destination. So, she gets mad at me for doing so and interrupting her sleep. So, yup… At least I know she’s safe… Even if she decides to stop talking to me I guess.

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Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

I understand you got worried. But Where in this is the gaslightning?

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

@Queendragonfly She was turning her failure to do something into my fault for making it her problem. Blaming me for following up on her because she hadn’t.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@NewMan2015 She was just tired reacting from being waken up. I don't think she thought much at that second.

NewMan2015 · 41-45, M

@Queendragonfly You might be right. It just very much hurt that not only did she dismiss my concern, but she was also upset. Thank you. I couldn’t hear that in my panic for her safety and the subsequent reaction.

Also thank you for your understanding and defense of my perspective. It was an agreed upon thing. And it was strictly about her safety. I had no clue if she was hurt, car broken down with a dead phone, in danger, etc. She’d always made sure to let me know in the past. This was a deviation that frightened me. And as you know and mentioned, there are predators out there.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@NewMan2015 Yes I'm aware how this world works, and how moody I too can get if I'm disturbed from my sleep 😂