Hurt By Her Response and Blame (Not Gaslighting)

@SW-User Me, My boyfriend, my boyfriend's friends, my sisters boyfriend, my dad, my sister, my mother in law, my father in law, we all would have reacted and tried to get a hold of the person too.

Evil runs on the streets. Car accidents or other things happens.

If you love someone and they promise to let you know they're home safe then it's only logic to get worried if they don't.

@Queendragonfly It read more possessive to me than caring, sorry. Most people live life without trouble, or any obstacle in most circumstances, so it's not logic that dictates worry. Care, yes. For me it was the way it was worded, it wasn't about care.

@SW-User

Believe me. I've met possessive. This ain't it.

Some people are rather safe than sorry.

As long as everyone is in on it. Why would we care that some outsider think it's possessive?

Maybe you haven't had a reason to be protective. But my boyfriend has, my boyfriend's friends have, my sister has, I have, my in laws have, my dad has.

And most of all, it's always when someone goes "No need to worry" that something happens that they will regret for life. Everyone think "It happens to others, but not to me or my partner or my family" until it does.

@Queendragonfly I'll believe you, if you believe me. I understand your words, if you would mine, but I will tell you not all stories fit yours, or mine. I've had reason to be protective before, prefer not to be, and saw why too many times now. I've also been possessive, with no harm ever done, but I might see where words might go. And I am sorry, using gaslighted, over one moment is not healthy in my perspective.

@SW-User I believe that you prefer to not worry. But I personally don't have that privilege. I don't mind getting worried in the situations where things are off.

It's sweet that this woman has someone who always wants to know she's safe. Sure she gets mad because he woke her up but maybe when she's had her sleep she'll realize that he just did what anyone who cares would.

My sister once went to a party. Her boyfriend was not getting a hold of her for the whole night and got worried sick.

We don't even know eachother that well but he contacted me because he knew I would help. I immediately started helping him find where the party was, who was the host, and where my sister was.

Turns out they locked her out from the house, and she slept in a ditch, two men picked her up in their car and let's just say if they weren't good guys we wouldn't have seen her again.

So. Now her boyfriend calls her daily and they have agreed she has to pick up just so he knows she's safe. She work long distance so that's the only way for him to easy find out she's ok. And she likes that he's that caring. And it helps him relax too because he would hate himself for life if he let something happen to her.

Whenever I'm at a party my boyfriend comes to the destination to pick me up and help me home safe. Because I ask him to.

@Queendragonfly It's the way you see it. But don't pretend to assume my life or what I have seen; that's patronizing. I get worried when things are off, maybe I have peace of mind, but it's not for you to know, or assume. I loved dealing with my ex's PTSD, for worries larger than you just shared, so maybe you are feeling you are educating me, but you aren't. She would have told me to worry less.

What you express is "nice".

@SW-User If she tells you that, that's another thing. But OP had an agreement to check in with the girl who has a long way to work, for safety precautions, requested by her.

@Queendragonfly I dont buy the story. It reads to me, I need to know how to word it to find sympathy, sorry.

@SW-User You think OP is twisting the story? But why make negative assumptions without context? 🤔

@Queendragonfly You twisted mine to mean something already, but let's not go there. The use of being gaslighted, when people know things happen, with no context of it happening before, becomes a little obsessive using a term convienent, gaslit. If he really cared he would use real emotional words, and respond, maybe?

@SW-User I supported and understand to not worry if that's what someone tells you to stop doing? How is that to twist your words?

He haven't called you anything. Yet you called him a shit and insulted him and assumed the absolute worst about him. I'm pretty sure he don't care to respond to such people, they are clearly not in their right mind.

I agree he used the gaslightning word wrong but I get that he's upset if she snaps at him for doing the right thing.

I'm a bit suprised how you can't see his point of view at all. Yet ask him to be reasonable...

@Queendragonfly I will agree to disagree with you. I put out words of caution, if you feel I assumed the worst, you misjudged and judged me. I was steering him away from making more mistakes, nothing more. But, you can assume the worst of me if you want. You've been the one peering through my moral intent on this, not the OP (remember)

@SW-User He didn't do any mistake. She did.

I think you're just unable to take yourself out of the equation. Because you have been criticised for worrying too much.

Reminder. This isn't about you.

If you can't remain objective or have some self distance, see others perspectives or ask for context before judging. Why comment at all?

So uneccesary to hurt people just because the topic is triggering you. If that's the case, take responsibility and scroll on.

@Queendragonfly Whoah, you judge much further than your age can give you, and have taken a much moral stance that is unnecessary it's stupid. Sorry I've seen patterns before, remember them, had to knock on a person's door before, but you ASSUME much.

@SW-User You avoid answering my questions so I will have to make some conclusion.

@Queendragonfly As you looked for your own conclusion, dragonfly, I'll be happy to help you with it. See how judgment goes? I get tired of those who do, and learned enough they choose their own way?

@Queendragonfly My bet, it's best to keep to the actual subject which I stuck to... so ps, goodbye.