All out of spoons
I am very starkly reminded that my function in the family is to be everyone’s emotional sounding board. Everytime they have something on their minds they come to me.
They need help untangling their emotions. They need validation. They need me to tell them how to fix it.
I think lately that my capacity is no longer available to do this. Strangely enough it is selective, there are some people I genuinely care about and for whom I will have boundless capacity. But there are people I just want to stop caring about.
I think it’s that all they do is take and take. I don’t think they genuinely care about me. Or maybe they do. But they will always, always, put their needs above mine.
I’m exhausted. All out of spoons.
They need help untangling their emotions. They need validation. They need me to tell them how to fix it.
I think lately that my capacity is no longer available to do this. Strangely enough it is selective, there are some people I genuinely care about and for whom I will have boundless capacity. But there are people I just want to stop caring about.
I think it’s that all they do is take and take. I don’t think they genuinely care about me. Or maybe they do. But they will always, always, put their needs above mine.
I’m exhausted. All out of spoons.
36-40
