I feel like I am expected to be apologetic for the way I am.

I used to feel like that and i spent years self medicating with alcohol to give myself courage to be something that was the total opposite of what I wanted. Thankfully i gave up the drink and the damage it did and i feel no need to be apologetic to anyone. You have no need feel that way. Just be yourself! Im sure you have alot to offer. You really do!!!