they exist, I've to exist too, not just okay , I've to be fine, sometimes I feel it is better to be blind, then atleast I'll not have to see all thth.

With every post, I see that you are learning more and more about who you are. And to that I say, enjoy the journey but be careful along the way. It's a beautiful thing but it can be a dangerous time. Because you may not always be aware of everything while you are searching for more self-awareness. Both knowledge and danger lie in the unknown and there's a fine line between the two. Always be cautious despite your hunger.

You are doing great sis. Realizing you're in the right path