Fear of losing myself
I have this fear that I will be eternally damaged. Or that I will be unrecognisable as an individual, either to myself or others. Idk
- there is something about my life that makes me feel like it is eating away at everything that makes me 'me'...somehow in the eternal sense. As if there is some greater being that I was and that being is being forgotten and discarded and replaced by whatever it is I am creating here. I am becoming someone I have never been before and I don't like it. I don't like the person I am becoming, and I feel like I won't ever recognise them.
I don't like anything about my current identity and I never have liked it. But I find myself giving in to it. It's been winning for a very long time, most of my life. There's nothing I can do that I find reasonable or right.
It's nothing specific. It's just like my whole sense of who I am, as I am alive right now, is wrong. It's someone else, not me.
I can't find a way to BE, I can't get past all my thoughts.
- there is something about my life that makes me feel like it is eating away at everything that makes me 'me'...somehow in the eternal sense. As if there is some greater being that I was and that being is being forgotten and discarded and replaced by whatever it is I am creating here. I am becoming someone I have never been before and I don't like it. I don't like the person I am becoming, and I feel like I won't ever recognise them.
I don't like anything about my current identity and I never have liked it. But I find myself giving in to it. It's been winning for a very long time, most of my life. There's nothing I can do that I find reasonable or right.
It's nothing specific. It's just like my whole sense of who I am, as I am alive right now, is wrong. It's someone else, not me.
I can't find a way to BE, I can't get past all my thoughts.
