Something I realised is in my subconscious

a need for power over others

I think it’s why I can’t handle people who are defensive. When people act defensively when I’m talking to them it makes me angry.
Even when you try to help someone they can be rude and defensive and speak aggressively to you, and it always makes me feel panic and anger.

Not sure what to do with this little epiphany

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in10RjFox · M

It means there is something wrong with your approach. Remember, others see your face, your body language, and your mannerisms and hear your tone and words and the manner in which it is delivered. If their reaction is the same each time, then it is you who needs help. It may not be that they are defensive, but they just don't want to be offensive towards you, which could be their disposition.

Trying to help someone when they didn't ask for it, is an "invasion of privacy" and intrusion into their private affairs. So ask first if they need help.

Vengabus · 36-40

@in10RjFox I'm autistic so there's not much I can do about that first part. But I think that if you (for example) have a problem and are volcalising it to someone else and then that someone tries to help you, then reacting defensively as though your privacy has been invaded makes no sense at all. - not that we don't all do it when our emotions and thoughts are out of whack I suppose

in10RjFox · M

@Vengabus depends on the situation. but I get what you mean.

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