self hatred ( imposter syndrome)

there's just this moment you look at yourself in the mirror and you think "I did nothing today..."
And feel useless, I don't wanna feel like this but academic pressures are so high that idk what I wanna do anymore... i don't even have a plan for my future while others study to success , My mother right now just said " Stop scrolling through instagram" meanwhile I am so drained out , I hate myself for being so useless , I hate myself for not being extroverted like others , I hate myself for not being a good daughter , student or friend....., My parents , Friends they all react the same when i vent and start talking about themselves....It makes me feel so different from them.. even the things I am writing right now feel like it's not me who's writing it cause this doesn't describe even half of my feelings.. I hope you guys have a good day ! ( tmi : 3 weeks clean)