How I feel lately
Lately, I've been struggling.
Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it.
I feel like I always put in 200%, but the rewards might just be 50%, it's never really what I want or how I want it to be. Maybe it's not worth all of my efforts, I'm starting to wonder.
Feeling like this for more than a week usually scares me, I'm afraid depression might be kicking in again, and I'm not prepared. If it is, then what I'm thinking and feeling is not real. How do you even differentiate between the two.
Maybe I'm just tired. I feel like I haven't had a real rest in 12 years.
I'm always pushing harder, want results faster, and whenever a goal is in sight, my mind starts questioning everything.
People like to build up towards things in their lives. All of my actions contribute to that too. But then why does my mind always want to break it all down and not care about it anymore.
It takes so much energy to act different than how I usually feel during these periods. It feels like lying to yourself, while trusting that this is not how you really feel.
I'm tired...
Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it.
I feel like I always put in 200%, but the rewards might just be 50%, it's never really what I want or how I want it to be. Maybe it's not worth all of my efforts, I'm starting to wonder.
Feeling like this for more than a week usually scares me, I'm afraid depression might be kicking in again, and I'm not prepared. If it is, then what I'm thinking and feeling is not real. How do you even differentiate between the two.
Maybe I'm just tired. I feel like I haven't had a real rest in 12 years.
I'm always pushing harder, want results faster, and whenever a goal is in sight, my mind starts questioning everything.
People like to build up towards things in their lives. All of my actions contribute to that too. But then why does my mind always want to break it all down and not care about it anymore.
It takes so much energy to act different than how I usually feel during these periods. It feels like lying to yourself, while trusting that this is not how you really feel.
I'm tired...
