Anxious
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What if I'm mentally not okay?

Like idk, I keep wondering lately. I've been through a lot of trauma. I've never really known how to deal with anything. I just carry on so pointlessly.

I have this relationship with death where I just feel comfortable with it. I think of it a lot & I feel like it watches me, waiting. I've put myself in extremely dangerous situations so many times without a care... & in the back of my mind I know if it kills me, I'm fine with that. Because I just think "cool, at least I won't be here".

I see the world for what it is & for that I can't be happy. Happiness is just in moments, not a true state of mind. Just like everything else. It's all just moments.
Kinda like how we all only exist, for a moment.
Then we're gone.

So meh... idk. Maybe there's something wrong with me
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sarabi · F
Trauma changes the mind.
But the mind has neuroplasticity. And can be changed again.
It's ok to make your peace with death, it helps you focus on current life.

The world as it is
Trauma gives you a distorted view of the world.