Meaningless Crap

I get tired and bored of giving these days. It used to give me so much joy to be generous, but now I’m just drained. Tired of takers. Tired of people who say they got you, then they bail. Tired of hopelessness and negativity trying to trip me up when I’m standing up for love and caring. People assume I have it easy or something? Like no, I’m nice because I’ve been shit on by life. I don’t have a fkn family or anyone except a child I raise alone. If I give in to the misery, I give up on my son, on the future and the world I’ll be leaving behind someday. I refuse to do that. But that strength is just seen as weakness, stupidity, inexperience, Idgaf how people see me anymore.

I don’t even understand life anymore.

I don’t understand how I’m supposed to teach my son to trust people when there’s no one to trust. We don’t have a safety, no family, no community and for years I’ve been bravely putting us out there helping, volunteering, traveling, talking to people, listening, learning, trying to add value to existence and still we are unloveable.

I am feeling strange and starting to believe there’s something fundamentally wrong with me. I say I’m kind and people act like I do it because I want something… I guess yeah, to see people smile. To brighten their day. In hopes they pass it along… and yes I thought being kind would invite more kindness into my life, sorry I guess that was dumb? I’m dumb for being nice, that’s all I get anymore.

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Whodunnit · M

Believe me when I say, it's not you. It's humanity in general. The majority are selfish, self-absorbed, out to get what they can, and lacking empathy.

The secret, in my view, is to hold back until you find those who are worthy of your time, energy, and kindness. Avoid the parasites and find those who are genuine.

BrokenAbyss

@Whodunnit I haven’t met anyone like that irl in 10+ years. I’m so tired.

Whodunnit · M

@BrokenAbyss They are rare, it's true xx

Convivial · 26-30, F

Don't give up ....

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Convivial · 26-30, F

@BrokenAbyss things do get better...

BrokenAbyss

@Convivial are you sure about that?

Convivial · 26-30, F

@BrokenAbyss yep!
Not by itself though... You have to find that place where you fit in to makes it better

travelguy01 · 41-45, M

Many people are selfish and greedy these days. Their technology and media addictions only make them even more so. Especially in larger city areas, that's mostly all you'll likely find on a day to day basis there. Everyone's caught up in their own wants and angers (and the media tells them exactly what they are to want and be angry about, they're just brainwashed slaves in that regard living a shell of a life). You're trying to actually live a life that you decide for yourself how you're going to feel, what you're going to do and be, what you value for your son, etc. And it doesn't match their programming. So, their programming tells them that they are to cast you aside, and maybe at most try to take whatever they can get from you first. You don't fit their little "script", and therefore you're evil. And, nor should you. Nor should they even, but they're too far gone to understand that.

Don't worry about them. You keep doing you. Get yourself to a better environment where you can be surrounded by more people with your mindset. I think you found that at least once before last year.

PissFun · 70-79, M

Almost a carbon copy of my life, but I don't have children, nor do I have any family.
I feel well used, it's quite depressing.

SW-User

There is nothing wrong with you by any means.....you are you and thats all that matters!!

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