I Get Jealous Of....
Tell me something you get stupid Jealous over and start it off with (I Get Jealous Of...) and go from there
I get jealous of dresses. I do. There they sit, looking all pretty, elegant, doing absolutely nothing... just swishing around, being the main character.
But then... someone farts.
And suddenly, the dress isn't a garment anymore. It’s on a Deadly Stealth Bomber Mission.
Think about the physics. Pants? Pants are direct. It’s a straight shot out the door. But a dress? A dress is a wind tunnel with a delay.
It catches the sound, lets it marinate, swirls it around the ankles like a fine wine... And then - whoosh - it releases it. Silent.
It’s not just a fart, it’s a silent bomb landing. The dress is basically Mission Control: "Houston, The Eagle has left the nest. I repeat, The Eagle has left the nest. Impact in 3... 2... 1..."
The launch pad is at the ankles, but the target is the nose. The bomb drops, hits the floor, and then the shockwave rises.
By the time Mission Control realizes what’s happening? The payload has already docked. You’re like, "Damn girl! Where did that come from? Was it the chair? Was it the dog?" No, Human. That is dress weaponized!
I get jealous of dresses. I do. There they sit, looking all pretty, elegant, doing absolutely nothing... just swishing around, being the main character.
But then... someone farts.
And suddenly, the dress isn't a garment anymore. It’s on a Deadly Stealth Bomber Mission.
Think about the physics. Pants? Pants are direct. It’s a straight shot out the door. But a dress? A dress is a wind tunnel with a delay.
It catches the sound, lets it marinate, swirls it around the ankles like a fine wine... And then - whoosh - it releases it. Silent.
It’s not just a fart, it’s a silent bomb landing. The dress is basically Mission Control: "Houston, The Eagle has left the nest. I repeat, The Eagle has left the nest. Impact in 3... 2... 1..."
The launch pad is at the ankles, but the target is the nose. The bomb drops, hits the floor, and then the shockwave rises.
By the time Mission Control realizes what’s happening? The payload has already docked. You’re like, "Damn girl! Where did that come from? Was it the chair? Was it the dog?" No, Human. That is dress weaponized!
