Putting lead into your diet and meeting Jesus!
On one late night while home alone on my farm I was awakened by the sound of breaking glass. I grabbed my trusty gun and proceeded into the room where I heard the breaking glass with Jesus on my side. There in my living room stood three burglars. I flipped on the light switch and told them to freeze and stay right there as I call the Sheriff and if one of them moved two would soon feel a sharp burning feeling and that I would pray to Jesus over them, and that the third would meet up with Jesus my 130-pound Rottweiler's choosing and would soon after meet Jesus in heaven. Seconds later I hear one of the burglars to say, "How can you tell that is our fortune tonight old man." I said Jesus's attack word as I summoned the gun out of its silent state.
I shared this with the Sheriff as they bagged the three bodies, and the Sheriff quizzically asked me if I got hungry with the last one, and I told him, "Why no Jesus was willing to maul over that one for me". He looked me in the eye weirdly as I cracked open my bedroom/bible door so he could see Jesus himself but not the way the burglars had, and he said, "Enough please close your bible door/bedroom door please.
