Why are you scolding your kids for longer, but not praise them half as much?
I understand scolding and telling off your child when they don't do well in school or something, but what I hate is that they will make the scolding last when 15 minutes or more without end, but when you do something good it's a short "good job", "very good", "that's the spirit". I react so well to praise (it motivates me), something I always sort of chased and even they know I like praise..
Why does it have to be a long monologue for when it's bad and it can never be a monologue or more praises when it's good?? I am left with the idea that what I do bad is just so much horrible when you scold me like that.. And I end up not valuing the achievements because they're supposed to be expected and aren't impressive even if there's work behind it..
Mind you, I'm a really good student, or at least decent.
In a way, it's always easier for human nature to critique than praise, but for me in this scenario it got to a point where i just end up crying so much because I feel like such a bad student and daughter..
And what sucks more, is that dad wasn't a student half as great as me, and at least has the decency to not scold me so often.. But now he held a monologue about how important exams are, this, and that and the other thing, and it just drains me slowly.. And the kicker is, he also likes praise no matter how much he wants to deny it and say he appreciates criticism more, because it helps him grow, but everybody can tell how much he wants praise and not to be misunderstood or do a mistake, you can see the shine in his eyes when you praise his work.
I was annoyed that he wanted to hug me to comfort me after he was the one that held the monologue that made me cry. I appreciate the gesture, but you aren't the one I'd want comfort from right now..
Not to mention I'm simply so repulsed by touch when I'm upset.. Everybody's different in that regard.
I just came here to let my feelings out, didn't really have to who to go. If someone relates to this and feels better because of that, that's also good.
Why does it have to be a long monologue for when it's bad and it can never be a monologue or more praises when it's good?? I am left with the idea that what I do bad is just so much horrible when you scold me like that.. And I end up not valuing the achievements because they're supposed to be expected and aren't impressive even if there's work behind it..
Mind you, I'm a really good student, or at least decent.
In a way, it's always easier for human nature to critique than praise, but for me in this scenario it got to a point where i just end up crying so much because I feel like such a bad student and daughter..
And what sucks more, is that dad wasn't a student half as great as me, and at least has the decency to not scold me so often.. But now he held a monologue about how important exams are, this, and that and the other thing, and it just drains me slowly.. And the kicker is, he also likes praise no matter how much he wants to deny it and say he appreciates criticism more, because it helps him grow, but everybody can tell how much he wants praise and not to be misunderstood or do a mistake, you can see the shine in his eyes when you praise his work.
I was annoyed that he wanted to hug me to comfort me after he was the one that held the monologue that made me cry. I appreciate the gesture, but you aren't the one I'd want comfort from right now..
Not to mention I'm simply so repulsed by touch when I'm upset.. Everybody's different in that regard.
I just came here to let my feelings out, didn't really have to who to go. If someone relates to this and feels better because of that, that's also good.
