Relationships/Family Advice 🐸
Hey so I’ve always had this idea of being a relationship which is really pestering me bc this would happen when I’m bored or aroused. Like Ik that I can get a fwb but the thing is that I want to have an emotional and physical connection with someone that I would see myself spending my whole life with. And it’s pretty hard recently bc I feel like I don’t have that click with anyone at all (unless you want to count my close friends but that’s just platonic) Sometimes I just wish I had someone that will give me the emotional connection I need and would love to listen to me and be there for me and fulfill my needs. And Ik that I’m suppose to be patient but it’s difficult to do that when these ideas come up randomly. Like ik what I want in a partner and how to be respectful and stuff like that but idk if I can wait any longer. I wonder when they will show up, when will this happen but it kinda feels like it would never happen.
Also, Another thing I want to mention is that I’ve been in a few relationships before but I’ve always have ended them. Like I’m starting to understand why it is bc i feel like it’s either my expectations and my family’s expectations that im trying to fulfill. Now my family isn’t strict or anything like that..but the majority are racist, transphobic, homophobic, basically they have completely different views from me. And my relationships I had kinda contradicted with their views. (Ex: dating the same gender, dating the opposite skin color as me, etc. etc.) so it’s difficult. Even though I mention to my mom how hard it would be to date someone bc of how judgemental my family is, she refuses to believe that. But when you grow up in a family that makes so many jokes surrounding those topics, you would understand why I don’t want my family to know. And it’s even harder bc I still stay with them and there are more family members moving into my town (which I’m happy bc I love my family) but I still feel like this puts on a lot of pressure to me. Like it’s so easy to introduce my friends to my family but a partner is a whole different story. I hope that eventually I would get over this horrible fear bc this has been ruining my relationships. Like my last relationship (which was a couple years ago) still has an great effect on me bc they were my bsf beforehand and they were there in my darkest moments. Now bc of our separation I started to have limerance and it’s horrible. Last year I had a horrible limerance that I felt like I was suffocating and this wasn’t the first time either. I’ve noticed this due to a video I was watching many months ago about what limerance is and it makes total sense. I basically force myself (subconsciously ofc) to like ppl that I think my family would like, when really Ik for I fact I don’t actually like them. So far I don’t have anymore limerance which I’m glad. But I’m afraid that if I find someone I truly love, I don’t want this to repeat itself again. So basically, I just hope this fixes itself eventually, but in the meantime, I really need advice on this since it’s been bothering me sm
Also, Another thing I want to mention is that I’ve been in a few relationships before but I’ve always have ended them. Like I’m starting to understand why it is bc i feel like it’s either my expectations and my family’s expectations that im trying to fulfill. Now my family isn’t strict or anything like that..but the majority are racist, transphobic, homophobic, basically they have completely different views from me. And my relationships I had kinda contradicted with their views. (Ex: dating the same gender, dating the opposite skin color as me, etc. etc.) so it’s difficult. Even though I mention to my mom how hard it would be to date someone bc of how judgemental my family is, she refuses to believe that. But when you grow up in a family that makes so many jokes surrounding those topics, you would understand why I don’t want my family to know. And it’s even harder bc I still stay with them and there are more family members moving into my town (which I’m happy bc I love my family) but I still feel like this puts on a lot of pressure to me. Like it’s so easy to introduce my friends to my family but a partner is a whole different story. I hope that eventually I would get over this horrible fear bc this has been ruining my relationships. Like my last relationship (which was a couple years ago) still has an great effect on me bc they were my bsf beforehand and they were there in my darkest moments. Now bc of our separation I started to have limerance and it’s horrible. Last year I had a horrible limerance that I felt like I was suffocating and this wasn’t the first time either. I’ve noticed this due to a video I was watching many months ago about what limerance is and it makes total sense. I basically force myself (subconsciously ofc) to like ppl that I think my family would like, when really Ik for I fact I don’t actually like them. So far I don’t have anymore limerance which I’m glad. But I’m afraid that if I find someone I truly love, I don’t want this to repeat itself again. So basically, I just hope this fixes itself eventually, but in the meantime, I really need advice on this since it’s been bothering me sm
