Hate how sensitive i am

It feels like in my relationships im always the one putting in effort, always trying to be considerate and help as much as i can no matter how much time it takes from me, but then nobody else in my relationships puts as much effort as me.

Im confident in some of my friendships, i wouldn't trade them for the world but then some moments happen that make me feel so upset even though i realise in the grand scheme of things its not THAT big of a deal.

Im just sick of feeling constantly hurt, and whenever i try to express my feelings to my friend she reacts very negatively and starts claiming i want to change her entire personality when it was just me saying that i sometimes felt iffy when she jokingly insults me.

Then there have been cases with other friends where they agree to watch one of my favourite series with me but then end up watching the rest of it by themselves KNOWING that i get really really happy when im able to watch it WITH them and see their reaction

Again im super grateful for all the good moments we shared and how much they helped me, but things like these get me so unexplainably sad and it always ends up going the same way: me being super excited for something, preparing everything and making sure it's perfect, and then getting upset when it doesn't go the way i imagined it.

I need someone to just tell me im being sensitive, to toughen up and realise things like these are normal and i can't just hang onto it every single time it happens, i should just be grateful i still have them as my friends despite everything

Idk where im going with this, i just dk where else to talk

Top | New | Old

MarbleMarvel

You can be sensitive and tough. That starts with being real about relationships/friendships though because people WILL take advantage of your kindness and generosity. The expectations will get you in trouble every time, but your friends shouldn't be insulting you. How you feel does matter, but when you're sensitive, you have to be your own protector. That takes time to develop, years even.

You can relax on things, but also be sure you're treated properly. Don't stand for the mistreatment. Make some boundaries and build up your self worth. It's always going to kinda hurt, but you can get to a place where you feel safe within. You got this.

Sensitivity is a super powerful when weilded like a sword. People might not see it that way, but those people aren't very deep or dynamic, just very uncaring.

UBotMate

There is definitely part of this that you are doing to yourself and part that is being done to you because you enable/allow it. When you give too much people will take too much. You need to be the one who protects yourself and your energy. When people see that you have boundaries from the beginning they will be more likely to respect them. When it comes to expectations of people, sometimes you to tone them down a little. The one thing that you can expect is for people to be unpredictable. People are emotional creatures with needs and wants and impulses and all kinds of pressures on them. They will do things which disappoint you but which were never meant to. We're all trying to get by and stay happy. Expect that people will let you down from time to time, but consider if they were truly trying to hurt you. Most of the time they are not.

SmileOnYourBrother

Things like this ARE normal. You're apparently a giver, and givers attract takers. Givers need takers and takers need givers.
Be grateful that you are realizing this and learning while you are still young that relationships have very little benefit for givers.

Convivial · 26-30, F

It's often easy to give too much of yourself... Are you being repaid in mind is the important question

Add a comment...