Married but lonely

my husband and I have been together for 17 years. In the beginning he was affectionate but that changed years ago. I feel like we drifted apart when I found out I was pregnant. Over the years it looked like this: whenever l wanted affection I would have to come and ask for it: cuddle me, kiss me etc. It messes with my head. I have anxiety and I feel like he doesn't love me, doesn't find me attractive etc etc. Every once in a while I start an argument about that and he is somewhat better for a while but then he goes back to normal. He does show affection torwards our son and even our cat but I have to ask for it. I feel pathetic. I feel worthless. I'm crying my eyes out as I am writing this. I am so tired and frustrated. I sometimes dream of meeting someone new. Otherwise he is a good husband and I don't want a divorce but at the same time I am tired
Sorry if this is messy but I am a mess RN.