Married but lonely

my husband and I have been together for 17 years. In the beginning he was affectionate but that changed years ago. I feel like we drifted apart when I found out I was pregnant. Over the years it looked like this: whenever l wanted affection I would have to come and ask for it: cuddle me, kiss me etc. It messes with my head. I have anxiety and I feel like he doesn't love me, doesn't find me attractive etc etc. Every once in a while I start an argument about that and he is somewhat better for a while but then he goes back to normal. He does show affection torwards our son and even our cat but I have to ask for it. I feel pathetic. I feel worthless. I'm crying my eyes out as I am writing this. I am so tired and frustrated. I sometimes dream of meeting someone new. Otherwise he is a good husband and I don't want a divorce but at the same time I am tired
Sorry if this is messy but I am a mess RN.

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Royricky09

Okay... Tell me something that is unique happening here. This is part of every relationship. It can never be the same as you grow, your goals change, your priorities change and so many other things.
Surprise, all men are like that. Our way of love is different than yours. So that needs an understanding.
That's a shame you are already thinking of other men and a divorce.
A man has alot on his plate which he may or may not share with you.

Miram · 31-35, F

@Royricky09

I think you should only speak for yourself. Not for all men and how they love.

My grandfather was very affectionate towards my grandma even in old age, while he run a very successful business and was a community leader. He always prioritized his family including grandma as a part of it. People will always create excuses when the truth is that they are failing for not trying enough. You don't have the willingness to be better or you are lazy. Don't blame it on being a man.

Prison1203 · 61-69, M

@Royricky09 don’t put us all in the same basket, I’m far from what she described I’m very affectionate towards my wife and love to hug and cuddle with her but she’s the one that pulls away and doesn’t want the affection from me , it’s like I have to beg to have any type of sexual relationship with her. So no. Not all men are like that I know I’m definitely not

Royricky09

@Miram you already answered and explained better, but if you look deeply, that's exactly what I said.
A man knows exactly what he must do.
Also who is to say the whole story of this post. Your and my opinion is based on just a small piece of the story.

Also the example you gave, again there's no way for you to know how they managed their relationship in thick and thins. You only know what you saw or heard.

Life is simply not just about cuddles, hugs, etc... It's way more than that.

Royricky09

@Prison1203 Sorry for you.

Prison1203 · 61-69, M

@Royricky09 thank you